my juicy life details

This is for those who would like to know me more personally. I wanted to share with everybody a recent trip I had that meant so much to me...Read on if you dare :) This is kind of a long one!...

I love my life. I want to get that out there first. I want to let everyone know that every hardship in my life has made me more determined, more thick-skinned, and more able to love. Every happy moment in my life has been stored in my brain as memory that plays in my head over and over like my favorite song on repeat.

Fortunately for me, my life has not been perfect. I've been able to learn from my mistakes. I've been able to learn from others' mistakes. I've been able to laugh, love, and develop virtues that I wouldn't give up for the world.

Why am I telling you all of this? Well, I recently had a life-changing experience that I just don't think anybody else would understand. Not even my husband. And my life leading up to this amazing event has been hard without a large part of my family, but I've never felt lost. I don't feel any feelings of anger. I'm not bitter. I'm just so glad to be loved.

There's a part of my life that really IS like that favorite song on i-tunes that just keeps playing over and over. It's like a dream that I have every single night--that mystic, undescribable feeling you have when you wake up from a dream that you only remember bits and pieces of, and you try to describe that dream to someone, but they just don't understand the feelings you felt during that dream. And they never will.

I was born in Sacramento, California to Brenda and Jeff Ficker. My dad was in the Army at the time and we moved A LOT! California, Utah, Colorado, Oregon, Idaho. Those were all my homes. When I was 9, our parents got divorced. I don't remember being sad. I don't remember being shocked. I remember knowing it was going to happen. I remember thinking I was so glad to have my brother by my side. I remember thinking "Ok, cool. I get to move again! yay!" What 9-year-old thinks that when she finds out her parents are separating???? Seriously....

Anyway, at the time, my mom drove semi-trucks (i know, she rocks...) and just stopped by in Salem, Oregon, picked up me and my brother, and we left. We left everything we owned behind. We left our toys. We left our friends. We left our family. We moved to Kentucky.

Since that time, I've constantly had those memories playing back in my head. Over and over again. Just bits and pieces. Memories of when my family was together.

I remember our FIRST computer we got there in that blue house with the big tree in the front yard. I remember the computer had the green screen.

I remember trying to make a "milkshake" at that house by putting ice cream in a plastic cup and putting it on the stove. Needless to say, I learned that things like that melted.

I remember the huge attic that I LOVED.

I remember the freezer in the garage always stocked with popscicles, and I also remember bribbing my friends with those popscicles--I would give them one if they would teach me how to do a cartwheel.

I remember "The Ditch" out back where, believe it or not, me and my friends used to play...for HOURS!

I remember grape vines in my best friend's back yard.

I remember the horrific smell of the mushroom plant down the road.

I remember that's where I got my first dry-erase board at a garage sale, and that we wrote "At the feild" on it one day and left it at Jessica's house to let our friends know where we were. I also remember that I got made fun of for spelling "field" incorrectly. I never did that again.

I remember that being the first place I played tether ball at school--and by the way, nobody could beat me. I mean that in the humblest way possible :)

I remember living next to a house that had fruit trees. I'm pretty sure we ate most of their fruit. We were bad.

I remember learning about cuss words for the first time. And thinking it was really cool to use them for about a day.

I remember I would find really cool rocks. And I would sell them. I told my dad I was going to do it, and he just smiled and said "ok". Needless to say, I was the one who brought home the bacon that night :) People loved my rocks. I also tried to hold a "bee" museum out of my friend's garage. I went around collecting bees, propped up an encyclopedia and held my museum for the public. It wasn't free. And people paid to come :) I'm telling you, I've been a business woman from day 1.

All of these memories have been floating around in my head for 14 years. Since then, I had talked to my dad a handful of times, but after 14 years, people tend to just get lost due to moves and changed phone numbers.

But then something amazing happened....

Some people suggested to my dad that his kids could probably be found on Facebook--and they found us. I finally got to talk to my dad again after so many years! He didn't even know I was married. He didn't even know I had finished college. He didn't know so many things about me--I wasn't at all bitter though. I was just so happy to finally be re-connecting with family that I hadn't been with in 14 years.

Needless to say, after Matthew and I moved to Cali, we planned a trip to go up to Oregon. We took that trip about 2 weeks ago. As we were driving up the road to my dad's house, I was bawling. I couldn't stop crying. I don't know if it was because I was happy or excited or nervous. Probably all 3. I also felt like I was going to be sick. I couldn't believe I was going to see my dad again after 14 years...14 years!!!. But when I saw him, it was like we had never been apart. I guess that's just how it is with family :)

Here are some pictures from that incredible trip.

The morning after we got there, my dad took us fishing!





Matt and my dad
















This is me dancing because...well, what else was I supposed to do? It's not like I was catchin any fish!











I LOVE Matt's faces in the next few pictures. This was fish #3 for him--well, supposedly. I found it quite "fishy" that all 3 of Matt's fish that he caught, as well as the next 2 my dad caught all looked exactly the same...

















These next few pictures are from the family BBQ later that day

This is a photo of my Aunt and my new second cousin, both of which I had never met before!


Isn't she the cutest? Needless to say, I followed her around all day with my camera. Many of these pictures are of her :)





Me, Matthew and Jordan


My new uncle, Mike, and Jordan hangin in the pool














My pup, Lucy, tryin to cool off











the whole family, including Uncles, Aunts, Cousins, Dad and grandparents, all of which I haven't seen for 14 years! Plus some new additions!


Seriously, my family rocks at silly faces...





This is the house. The house I grew up in. The house that all the before-mentioned "foggy memories" occured at. This is where I learned how to do cartwheels. This is where I had some of my fondest memories. 447 49th Ave SE was my home. Here's a picture of me and my dad in front of the old casa


This is evidence that I have white-trash pumpin' through my veins. This was "The Ditch" that all of us kids would play at...there wasn't a grate over the pipe like there is now, so you can imagine all the fun us 9-year-olds came up with :) Good times, good times!


A HUGE thanks to everyone for checking out this post that is so near-and-dear to me. I really appreciate this chance to share with you who I am...and where I came from :)